Leaving a high-control group is never simple as walking out the door. It’s an exodus through fire – unraveling of the soul mid smoke-stained doctrine, crawling past burning embers of identity, self-worth, and belonging. To those who’ve never lived it, departure may resemble rebellion or seem spiritually suicidal. But to those of us who have, escape feels like surviving a veritable fire – flaming fear biting at your heels, where guilt clings like a 3rd degree burn.

And once out, ruins of a life unlived haunt you still. While the sanctuary may be a structure of the past, indoctrination echoes like an unwelcome ghost – a voice warping scripture, warnings laced with damnation. Religious control groups don’t simply request belief – they consume your entire being. Your time, resources, community – restricting romantic choices to those approved within said order. They demand silence – your own voice. Claiming divine authority – not to guide, but Govern! They don’t invite love of truth, rather condition fear of disobedience. Should you begin to question, they won’t pray for your clarity – but pronounce judgment. Not from a place of concern, but ultimate control.

Here’s what must be stated – over and over – until it sinks ’neath every scar: any system that must terrify to keep you is not holy—it’s harmful. Fear is not the fruit of love. Any natural instinct to flee, no matter how halting or incomplete, is/was not betrayal, but an Awakening! Remnants of the mind fighting imprisonment of your soul.

You may still be questioning whether you’ve made a mistake, have walked away from God, or how the anxiety might be a sign you’ve fallen. Such disorientation is not moral failure, but withdrawal from spiritual captivity. Systems like these are engineered to collapse your sense of self – strip your capacity to trust your inclination. They’ve replaced free will with performance, dependence, and shame. Therefore leaving may feel as a funeral, but what’s dying is not your soul – rather a false identity designed to kill the spirit. 

And here’s the paradox: true obedience is not a curse. When it is chosen freely, it is an act of beauty – alignment of belief and behaviour. But obedience that is extracted through fear, guilt, or threats of brimstone? That is not virtue. That’s violence! Any demand for loyalty that requires death of your inner voice is not obedience. It is erasure. 

You’re not weak for walking. Neither selfish or lost. You Are Bravery Personified! Reclaiming what was YOU all along – your mind, will, and sacred ability to navigate life on your own terms! Self-examination isn’t about rejecting God, but rebuking those who hijacked the divine, weaponizing scriptures for power. Deconstruction disentangles love from loyalty, faith from fear, and reverence from repression.

Sadly, there will be heavy losses. Some will make you question your motives, even sanity. People will be offended for Truth. Many shall curse your name – those once considered brother/sister will turn their backs. Some will slander, while others mourn, counting you dead. Let them. You may feel grief, rage, confusion – all of which is Holy. Know these are not signs you’ve strayed, but evidence of healing. Farther you crawl from the proverbial cage, more you’ll witness it was never God who kept you locked inside, but fear itself. Withheld by those who built altars upon skulls of their victims. 

There will be days where joy feels foreign and peace reverberates hollow. Hold On. You’re not regressing, but Resurrecting! Drawing new breath for each exhalation – reclaiming your capacity to think, feel and be, without permission or punishment.

Again, they’ll whisper how you left the faith, but cowards never confront. These dwell in the void and empty chambers from which you crawled… places they still creep…. chasms of self-loathing and fear. 

Remember,

Love does not bind under auspice of obedience, but extends invitation to eternal dance. Should you accept the hand of spiritual romance – may it be blessed and ever consensual. 

– ReLOVution